轻松片刻

过了第二关, 才知道给自己的压力是那么地重.
某人问, 失败了, 不就重考?
我踌躇了一阵说, 那怎么对得起自己呢.

终于可以轻松片刻了.

加油加油.

几乎完美的 eason 话语

对我而言，eason 是前所未有的实力派歌手。
他的唱功很奇妙。
唱歌如说话一般，那么地随性，却又那么地深入人心。

即使认同这一点，却从未对他感到多大兴趣。
但昨天却意外出席了他的moving on - stage 11 演唱会。
这个性格和造型同样怪异的歌手，
当真震撼了我。
别说eason 的现场唱功是pitch-perfect,
他在舞台上的个人魅力，也是几乎完美的。

anyway, 有哪位红歌手会为encore表演唱上整10首歌曲?!

观众席中的我，只能不停地为他的敬业乐业鼓掌。

这是我最喜欢的eason话语。

最爱听eason 唱有blues 情调的歌。

他到底是在唱歌，还是在说话？

In a weird state of dilemma

it's a purposeful Sunday morning and I have one full hour to kill before heading off to work. i find myself getting caught between two readily-available time-killers:

Currently Reading...

Level of interest: 4.5/5

Level of absolute necessity: 1/5

and/or...

Level of interest: 0/5

Level of absolute necessity: 5/5

So... how now, brown cow? :(

my very very cute niece

Finest Groceries Ever

i was looking for a way to cure my mid-week blues when i came across the newly-revamped NTUC at Thomson Plaza. It was called Fairprice Finest. and boy, was it fine! the improved layout and design of the mart was... intoxicatedly... shiny.

as i trekked along the aisles my little heart began beating faster with joy. this place kinda reminded me of A&P or Loblaws in Canada, where you can buy all the "ang-mo ang-mo" stuff. organic pasta, pocket pitas, you name it. they also had... absolutely everything else.

while deciding on whether to cap my grocery spending at $50, i couldn't help but wonder if i could actually live in this supermarket. i would be really happy. :) and so i began my exhilarating expedition at Finest, and these are what i got for my family, after much deliberation:

peanut butter and grape jelly, cos Skippy is the one.

Rum 'n' raisin dark chocolate, cos it's chocolate. and dark. and rum n raisin.

Willow mushrooms, cos i'm sick of the usual buttons and needles we always have at home.

Baked beans, cos they're healthiness in a can, and vegetarian too.

Instant noodles, for when we're tired of healthy, yummy home-cooked food.

Bak Kut Teh "cheater's mix", for when i feel like cooking vegetarian bak kut teh for my family.



Pickled baby cucumbers, cos they're good eaten in sandwiches and alone.



White peaches, cos they're in season and a break from the usual apples and oranges. :)

and of course, a decent bottle of shiraz, cos sometimes you just need some red wine in your diet. :)

$50.89 later, i'm a much happier lady. it's amazing how grocery shopping keeps a woman happy.

......

god i have to quit spending.

look what i got

i figured the best way to kill time, was to spend some money. not much, but just enough to keep my spirits escalated for the rest of the day.

now before you reproach me for falling into the emotional shopper's dungeon, look what i got!




not the notebook, but a multifunctional mini notebook table...



that allows your notebook to be inclined at 8 different heights,



that comes with a cool felt mousepad,



that comes with 4 external usb ports,



that comes with a small led light,



and a hidden pencil box!

*silent screams of joy*

believe it or not, i feel like a kid again. and also a bloody bimbo for spending 59.90 on a table that so perfectly matches my matte black notebook.

sweet mom had wanted to get me a blue plasticky one from shanghai for 29.90 but that one doesn't come with all the cute gimmicks that this one has. plus i'd have to wait till year end to get it cos that's when mom comes back. and as a kid, i. just. can't. wait.

sigh... 59.90... totally made my day. :)

alas!

my office mail has busted!!!!!

*sob*

the feeling of being needed

finally, after weeks and weeks of work, i am on a much-much-needed 2-days leave. that spells a super long weekend for me: saturday, sunday, monday AND tuesday. yippee...!

i had been looking forward to this long weekend for ages. a week ago my mind was already furiously planning the list of to-dos for the 4 days of rest.

oddly enough, i wasn't looking forward to waking up this morning. i wished i could sleep the whole of monday and tuesday away. being a couch potato and staring transfixed at Mr. TV for almost the entire sunday was enough to make me want to throttle myself. i watched legally blonde 2, spiderman 2, and miscellaneous taiwanese variety shows, and i felt i was the most wasted being in this world.

so, monday's here. what do i do for today?

i know for sure there are many many more things for me to work on. for one, my list of to-dos is only half-done, and my determination to finish the list is half-baked. but having rested for the weekend, i now look forward... to going back to work.

but i can't give up my leave just like that, can i? afterall, my bosses were very kind and understanding to have rewarded me with some rest. i found myself opening up my laptop, logging in to my office mail, and then struggling to decide whether to reply some emails. and then devil erin started the usual annoying chatter in my head, lose it, lose it, lose that stupid workaholism, you stupid workaholic.

and i did. i lost it and now here i am, blogging about it while nursing some resentment towards the decision to leave my work behind.

the closest and most familiar workaholic i have in my life is probably dad. if i had to describe him in 3 adjectives, they would be: wise, far-sighted, and workaholic. quite a mis-matched combination, i must say. and then it dawned upon me, what does "workaholic" really mean?

in the age of wikipedia-preference-over-oxford, i shall quote the former's definition of workaholism: A workaholic, colloquially, is a person who is addicted to work. This phrase does not always imply that the person actually enjoys their work, but rather simply feels compelled to do it.

so, is it a matter of responsibility as an individual's core value? when it comes to work and life, dad has got to be one of the most responsible people i've ever seen. he never shirks, he never blames. and he's always ready to take on any scope of the job. i never knew how much he actually liked his work, but i must say, he always feels compelled to do his best, regardless of which job he's in. if he doesn't love his work, he loves to work.

and i always wondered if i possessed this same trait. many of my friends, and even a few of my ex-bosses call me a workaholic because they see me working all the time. the word "workaholic" usually has a negative connotation as well - suggesting that we're prioritising work over everything else and hence, neglecting other aspects of our lives.

i've never really viewed my job as a means to earn a living, but more so an integral part to completing my life. does that then constitute for a workaholic?

as much as i needed this 2 days of break, i have to say i do miss working, alot. it's the satisfaction of being in the office in front of my desk replying and crafting emails, interacting with fellow colleagues, solving problems, completing duties assigned to you, and most importantly, feeling needed in the workplace.

one of the worst feelings in the world, has got to be feeling redundant at work. Mr. TV doesn't need me, and neither does my bed. i hereby conclude that my office keyboard needs me more.

but whatever workaholism means, i think i can never stop working, and i will always need the feeling of being needed at work.

and hence, i'm off to checking the office email again. countdown: one and a half days to going back to work.

5 July 2008. 5.03 PM.
Heading towards Vivocity, Singapore for dinner and movie with friends.

i have to constantly remind myself that i don't have to dress complicated to remain relevant to the world around me.

As well as to keep in check a little self-needed narcicism.

babies, they come to this world crying

it seems as though everyone around me is either having a baby, trying for a baby, or just had a baby and has stepped up to a more challenging role as a parent.

a few of my relatives and acquaintances are pregnant and awaiting for the arrival of their babies. two of my friends have just given birth, one of them being just as old (or young?) as moi.

yep, pregnancies, mothers, and babies galore.

recently i kinda freaked mom out by letting the long-trapped bonsai kitten out of its jar -- that i don't want children in my life. when asked why, i paused for a long moment before replying, rather airily, that i didn't see the need to. somewhere in my mind i could hear her heart breaking. and some parts of my heart began twisting in guilt.

everytime mom and i had differences that were awaiting some ironing out, she would present her standard spiel, "you will never understand how i feel until you've become a mother yourself."

she's right, and more than just being right. without having a kid i may never understand how it's like to bring up a child and appreciate the joy and satisfaction that comes from nurturing him/ her. watching Baby learn to crawl, walk, run, and finally fly towards the limitless sky of this world, to say no to having a baby spells missing out on a whole lot, and probably reads "something's wrong with you".

so i try to avert potential regrets that may come my way as well as challenge existing doubts, by reading my cousin's baby blog almost every other day. Chien Ying - or Bubu as affectionately coined by her parents - my adorable baby niece who from the blog appears to be the absolute epitome of the standard lucky baby in today's world.

baby niece Chien Ying with the "will work for milk" jumper i bought for her.


happy baby being fed

i truly love my niece, although i hardly get to see her since she's happily tucked many hours away in Beijing. i love her because she is my niece and the daughter of my cousin. suddenly i recall how my whole clan of relatives would crowd around her cot emitting silly oohs and aahs, and how my cousin-in-law spends hours doing nothing but staring intently at his beloved child. and then i started questioning what i would be losing out when the time comes for me to consider becoming a mom.

mom says i belong to the selfish group of new-age adults who only want to enjoy life and not carry the burden of raising children. our whole life simply revolves around fancy lattes and novelty hobbies like picking up pole-dancing. what's the true meaning of life, she asked. if you don't want kids, why marry? just stay single lor.

government and social encouragements aside, i wonder if my life would be meaningless without having a family. but my reasons for not having children definitely outweighs the reasons for having one. at this point of time i shall not make my readers bear the brunt of going through my extensive list of whys, but something i strongly believe in, is that children do not choose to be born. and if they did, why do they come to this world crying?

i have never questioned my parents' ability to borne me and raise me into who i am today. and i love them for having done so. but i can never be confident that my own child would so willingly think this way when he or she is 25 and alive.

happy 1st anniversary

2 July, 2008.
Marks the first year into my exploration of the communications industry.

Time truly flies.
I'm thankful to have come this far.