久违的小改变

真是松了一口气。

明天是Monday

明天又是一个Monday。

就算每天早上听志勇和佩芬在空中大喊 "it's monday!!!"
也似乎没什么用。

周末里告诉了几位好友，
到了近年才知道什么叫做真正的Office Bitching.
虽然并非当事人（也还好不是当事人),
但听者。。。似乎更累。
因为不乐意吸收污秽的言语，
却也被逼着吸收。
像是被摧残了的海绵，
吸到快烂了还一直给人捏在手中玩弄。

和戏里做的都一样。
有嘴巴烂得不行，有人笑里藏刀，
还有拍得最响的马屁。

想吐。想把吸进的污秽都吐出来。

然后朋友问我，奈何得了多久？
我说，没有奈何不了的，
只是需要偶尔下班后和好友会面，
发发牢骚，明天又是新的一天。

So, 明天是Monday. :)

@ Elva 三面夏娃音乐Showcase

第一次看Elva的拉阔演出。
若从前是欣赏Elva的，
经过这场音乐会后，
对这位动感天后难免有些许的失望。



还好票是免费的。
呵呵。。。

真心关怀

好像有一阵子没对小站有贡献了。
这阵子的疲累，还真是一言难尽。

anyway, 上周日表妹的庆生dinner.
请了表妹吃最爱的日本料理！

大家。。。


表妹姐姐，表妹，和表姐我。


送了表妹渴望已久的可爱长袜，还有柠檬cheesecake.

希望表妹感受到了大家的真心关怀。

我觉得，有些许迷失。

打个wii !

psssst.............
look what i got!!!

teeheeee...!



this will be my new lean mean exercise machine of the year.

but am too tired to do anything right now, will fix it up tomorrow. :)

期待期待！

P/S. 想起了小猪唱的：

请你别再怀疑我的心意
我只想要跟你宅一起
做什么都可以
看几片dvd 打个wii !
oh everybody love in the house
- <<当我们宅一块>>

感觉 restless

不怎么甘愿MC一天，
所以，背叛了身体，背叛了睡意，
给房间整了型。



然后，浸泡在“小猪汤”里，
算是慰劳一下自己。


我想，如果我有下一世，
一定要当这么样的一个“小猪”，
让全世界都拥抱我。

有着对生活很restless 的感觉。

超可爱侄女 - 无法抗拒的可爱魅力

中秋，无与伦比的美丽

每逢中秋来临，好像都能感受到世界无与伦比的美丽。

虽然这几天，雨一直在下。

百忙中的自我提醒：
请拒绝吃下800卡路里的香甜月饼。

喜欢看一盏灯照亮整片漆黑天空，
感觉安稳，安定。


期待每年中秋能够带来的小小幸福惊喜。

今日的精心杰作

CHOCOLATE NUT CRACKLES

2008 国庆快乐

和我一起分享国庆情怀的老板们。



带我入场的重要证物。


没有惧高症的勇士们。



让人惊叹的 Black Knights Showcase.




最后，是少不了的烟花。

烟花齐放的当儿，唱着:
we the citizens of singapore
pledge ourselves as one united people
regardless of race, language or religion...

被高亢的气氛包围的我，
差点感动地流泪了。

国庆快乐，还有，大功告成。:)

轻松片刻

过了第二关, 才知道给自己的压力是那么地重.
某人问, 失败了, 不就重考?
我踌躇了一阵说, 那怎么对得起自己呢.

终于可以轻松片刻了.

加油加油.

几乎完美的 eason 话语

对我而言，eason 是前所未有的实力派歌手。
他的唱功很奇妙。
唱歌如说话一般，那么地随性，却又那么地深入人心。

即使认同这一点，却从未对他感到多大兴趣。
但昨天却意外出席了他的moving on - stage 11 演唱会。
这个性格和造型同样怪异的歌手，
当真震撼了我。
别说eason 的现场唱功是pitch-perfect,
他在舞台上的个人魅力，也是几乎完美的。

anyway, 有哪位红歌手会为encore表演唱上整10首歌曲?!

观众席中的我，只能不停地为他的敬业乐业鼓掌。

这是我最喜欢的eason话语。

最爱听eason 唱有blues 情调的歌。

他到底是在唱歌，还是在说话？

In a weird state of dilemma

it's a purposeful Sunday morning and I have one full hour to kill before heading off to work. i find myself getting caught between two readily-available time-killers:

Currently Reading...

Level of interest: 4.5/5

Level of absolute necessity: 1/5

and/or...

Level of interest: 0/5

Level of absolute necessity: 5/5

So... how now, brown cow? :(

my very very cute niece

Finest Groceries Ever

i was looking for a way to cure my mid-week blues when i came across the newly-revamped NTUC at Thomson Plaza. It was called Fairprice Finest. and boy, was it fine! the improved layout and design of the mart was... intoxicatedly... shiny.

as i trekked along the aisles my little heart began beating faster with joy. this place kinda reminded me of A&P or Loblaws in Canada, where you can buy all the "ang-mo ang-mo" stuff. organic pasta, pocket pitas, you name it. they also had... absolutely everything else.

while deciding on whether to cap my grocery spending at $50, i couldn't help but wonder if i could actually live in this supermarket. i would be really happy. :) and so i began my exhilarating expedition at Finest, and these are what i got for my family, after much deliberation:

peanut butter and grape jelly, cos Skippy is the one.

Rum 'n' raisin dark chocolate, cos it's chocolate. and dark. and rum n raisin.

Willow mushrooms, cos i'm sick of the usual buttons and needles we always have at home.

Baked beans, cos they're healthiness in a can, and vegetarian too.

Instant noodles, for when we're tired of healthy, yummy home-cooked food.

Bak Kut Teh "cheater's mix", for when i feel like cooking vegetarian bak kut teh for my family.



Pickled baby cucumbers, cos they're good eaten in sandwiches and alone.



White peaches, cos they're in season and a break from the usual apples and oranges. :)

and of course, a decent bottle of shiraz, cos sometimes you just need some red wine in your diet. :)

$50.89 later, i'm a much happier lady. it's amazing how grocery shopping keeps a woman happy.

......

god i have to quit spending.

look what i got

i figured the best way to kill time, was to spend some money. not much, but just enough to keep my spirits escalated for the rest of the day.

now before you reproach me for falling into the emotional shopper's dungeon, look what i got!




not the notebook, but a multifunctional mini notebook table...



that allows your notebook to be inclined at 8 different heights,



that comes with a cool felt mousepad,



that comes with 4 external usb ports,



that comes with a small led light,



and a hidden pencil box!

*silent screams of joy*

believe it or not, i feel like a kid again. and also a bloody bimbo for spending 59.90 on a table that so perfectly matches my matte black notebook.

sweet mom had wanted to get me a blue plasticky one from shanghai for 29.90 but that one doesn't come with all the cute gimmicks that this one has. plus i'd have to wait till year end to get it cos that's when mom comes back. and as a kid, i. just. can't. wait.

sigh... 59.90... totally made my day. :)

alas!

my office mail has busted!!!!!

*sob*

the feeling of being needed

finally, after weeks and weeks of work, i am on a much-much-needed 2-days leave. that spells a super long weekend for me: saturday, sunday, monday AND tuesday. yippee...!

i had been looking forward to this long weekend for ages. a week ago my mind was already furiously planning the list of to-dos for the 4 days of rest.

oddly enough, i wasn't looking forward to waking up this morning. i wished i could sleep the whole of monday and tuesday away. being a couch potato and staring transfixed at Mr. TV for almost the entire sunday was enough to make me want to throttle myself. i watched legally blonde 2, spiderman 2, and miscellaneous taiwanese variety shows, and i felt i was the most wasted being in this world.

so, monday's here. what do i do for today?

i know for sure there are many many more things for me to work on. for one, my list of to-dos is only half-done, and my determination to finish the list is half-baked. but having rested for the weekend, i now look forward... to going back to work.

but i can't give up my leave just like that, can i? afterall, my bosses were very kind and understanding to have rewarded me with some rest. i found myself opening up my laptop, logging in to my office mail, and then struggling to decide whether to reply some emails. and then devil erin started the usual annoying chatter in my head, lose it, lose it, lose that stupid workaholism, you stupid workaholic.

and i did. i lost it and now here i am, blogging about it while nursing some resentment towards the decision to leave my work behind.

the closest and most familiar workaholic i have in my life is probably dad. if i had to describe him in 3 adjectives, they would be: wise, far-sighted, and workaholic. quite a mis-matched combination, i must say. and then it dawned upon me, what does "workaholic" really mean?

in the age of wikipedia-preference-over-oxford, i shall quote the former's definition of workaholism: A workaholic, colloquially, is a person who is addicted to work. This phrase does not always imply that the person actually enjoys their work, but rather simply feels compelled to do it.

so, is it a matter of responsibility as an individual's core value? when it comes to work and life, dad has got to be one of the most responsible people i've ever seen. he never shirks, he never blames. and he's always ready to take on any scope of the job. i never knew how much he actually liked his work, but i must say, he always feels compelled to do his best, regardless of which job he's in. if he doesn't love his work, he loves to work.

and i always wondered if i possessed this same trait. many of my friends, and even a few of my ex-bosses call me a workaholic because they see me working all the time. the word "workaholic" usually has a negative connotation as well - suggesting that we're prioritising work over everything else and hence, neglecting other aspects of our lives.

i've never really viewed my job as a means to earn a living, but more so an integral part to completing my life. does that then constitute for a workaholic?

as much as i needed this 2 days of break, i have to say i do miss working, alot. it's the satisfaction of being in the office in front of my desk replying and crafting emails, interacting with fellow colleagues, solving problems, completing duties assigned to you, and most importantly, feeling needed in the workplace.

one of the worst feelings in the world, has got to be feeling redundant at work. Mr. TV doesn't need me, and neither does my bed. i hereby conclude that my office keyboard needs me more.

but whatever workaholism means, i think i can never stop working, and i will always need the feeling of being needed at work.

and hence, i'm off to checking the office email again. countdown: one and a half days to going back to work.

5 July 2008. 5.03 PM.
Heading towards Vivocity, Singapore for dinner and movie with friends.

i have to constantly remind myself that i don't have to dress complicated to remain relevant to the world around me.

As well as to keep in check a little self-needed narcicism.

babies, they come to this world crying

it seems as though everyone around me is either having a baby, trying for a baby, or just had a baby and has stepped up to a more challenging role as a parent.

a few of my relatives and acquaintances are pregnant and awaiting for the arrival of their babies. two of my friends have just given birth, one of them being just as old (or young?) as moi.

yep, pregnancies, mothers, and babies galore.

recently i kinda freaked mom out by letting the long-trapped bonsai kitten out of its jar -- that i don't want children in my life. when asked why, i paused for a long moment before replying, rather airily, that i didn't see the need to. somewhere in my mind i could hear her heart breaking. and some parts of my heart began twisting in guilt.

everytime mom and i had differences that were awaiting some ironing out, she would present her standard spiel, "you will never understand how i feel until you've become a mother yourself."

she's right, and more than just being right. without having a kid i may never understand how it's like to bring up a child and appreciate the joy and satisfaction that comes from nurturing him/ her. watching Baby learn to crawl, walk, run, and finally fly towards the limitless sky of this world, to say no to having a baby spells missing out on a whole lot, and probably reads "something's wrong with you".

so i try to avert potential regrets that may come my way as well as challenge existing doubts, by reading my cousin's baby blog almost every other day. Chien Ying - or Bubu as affectionately coined by her parents - my adorable baby niece who from the blog appears to be the absolute epitome of the standard lucky baby in today's world.

baby niece Chien Ying with the "will work for milk" jumper i bought for her.


happy baby being fed

i truly love my niece, although i hardly get to see her since she's happily tucked many hours away in Beijing. i love her because she is my niece and the daughter of my cousin. suddenly i recall how my whole clan of relatives would crowd around her cot emitting silly oohs and aahs, and how my cousin-in-law spends hours doing nothing but staring intently at his beloved child. and then i started questioning what i would be losing out when the time comes for me to consider becoming a mom.

mom says i belong to the selfish group of new-age adults who only want to enjoy life and not carry the burden of raising children. our whole life simply revolves around fancy lattes and novelty hobbies like picking up pole-dancing. what's the true meaning of life, she asked. if you don't want kids, why marry? just stay single lor.

government and social encouragements aside, i wonder if my life would be meaningless without having a family. but my reasons for not having children definitely outweighs the reasons for having one. at this point of time i shall not make my readers bear the brunt of going through my extensive list of whys, but something i strongly believe in, is that children do not choose to be born. and if they did, why do they come to this world crying?

i have never questioned my parents' ability to borne me and raise me into who i am today. and i love them for having done so. but i can never be confident that my own child would so willingly think this way when he or she is 25 and alive.

happy 1st anniversary

2 July, 2008.
Marks the first year into my exploration of the communications industry.

Time truly flies.
I'm thankful to have come this far.

the joy of reading newspapers

there's a common accusation that youngsters these days would rather spend 24 hours surfing the Internet than spend an hour reading newspapers. something like that.

guilty as charged, much as i would like to make a retort to that comment. not all youngsters, surely, but that bit about Internet preference is true. while newspapers started out serving the purpose of updating the latest affairs to the public, new media has now taken over with the capability of being much more immediate. and so youngsters like us argue, we can still read news on the web, what.

while newspapers are mostly text in black and white, new media exists in all forms, shapes, sizes and colors. in this era of embracing blogging and user-generated content, it's no wonder that traditional print media are going digital and extending a UGC platform for collecting public opinion, big or small.

but obviously print media in Singapore is still going strong. as a PR practitioner, media monitoring is part of my job scope and i am "forced" to read the papers every morning. a year or two ago i would have prefered to do my media monitoring online, but now i look forward to flipping those flimsy pages everyday.

i remember how my parents used to painstakingly nag at us to read the papers every weekend. and as a teenager i hated it. the only stuff i read were text out of my textbooks, martial arts novels, and the then-iWeekly. my parents went to the extend of forcing the paper on us and demanding that we rehash at least 3 news stories to them after they got back from the wet market. so i would scream a little in my head, memorize the first three headlines i see on the front page, ruffle the newspapers violently so it would look like it's been read, and then head for a session with my brick-game or tamagotchi.

and then i always wondered how my dad could poop in the toilet for almost an hour and come out with the papers under his armpit and with a contented (and hence wiser) look on his face.

now i do. perhaps it's a matter of growing older, or perhaps it's just a habit you build. i'm beginning to enjoy the nostalgic feeling of sitting on the couch on a lazy sunday morning, sipping a cup of hot coffee and leisurely taking in the latest updates of the world. that's something new media can't possibily give. if anything, reading off your screen probably damages your eye-sight in the long run.

my favorites are the weekend papers. generally lots of lifestyle news get thrown in. and that serves the purpose of a weekend paper, doesn't it? unless it's earth-shattering, disastrous news, who wants to be bogged down by serious, dreary reports on the two days you get to rest? there are sections that i truly enjoy - local news, commentaries. and then (oops,) there are the sections i always skip: money, sports, finance and investment, and... the obits.

i used to hate having to vacate a large space to accomodate for their sheer size, and disliked the black stains on my fingers after thumbing through a day's edition. when i first started picking up the habit, i would robotically and religiously flip the paper till i get to the last page, congratulate myself for finishing with the papers, and go wash my hands. but i wasn't exactly taking anything in. i was merely very targeted at "being done".

now, "being done" takes on a whole new meaning. i look forward to picking up the huge stack of papers each day; i take good note of the headline news; i cut out articles i would like to read at my own leisure; and i try my best to analyze the straight reports.

my father challenged me once; i knew oil prices are rising, but do i know why? i was stumped. and then he gave his post-blow consolation: maybe you're not that interested in economics, but try your best to understand why things happen.

and then i knew. reading the newspapers is as much of an art as writing those news stories. and understanding what you're reading and why you're reading the papers, is only paying justice to the effort that goes behind a journalist's/editor's work.

and hence, kudos to all youngsters who read the papers, and i salute all parents who make their youngsters read the papers.

on brands and self-branding

while sitting down for a leisurely cup of coffee so hard to come by these days, my colleagues and i were on the topic of "brands".

the word "brand" connotes several different explanations in today's consumer-corporate society.
- the consumer brand -- your Prada wallet, your Gucci handbag, and your apple iPhone.
- the corporate/product brand -- the purest Evian water for the health conscious, the stylish Sony Vaio notebook every modern fashionista must have.
- and the self-branding -- Amicable Amy, Resourceful Randall, Passionate Peter, Confident Connie.

what we so eagerly chirped about were consumer brands, which inevitably leads to the newly embraced obsession towards self-branding.

Colleague W related her experience of shopping together - and separately - with a friend of hers. while she went for 49.90 bags, her friend was trying on 499 clothes. and according to W, her friend "ain't necessarily lookin' shit hot in those 499 clothes".

and those two friends shall never meet. well at least, not in terms of priorities.

is it a matter of salaries and positions? or do these two friends simply possess starkly different priorities? why do some working people not think twice about spending half their paychecks on an LV handbag, while others see no problem with using $10 ones sold at pasar malams or on pushcarts?

some argue that they pursue brands for a better fit with their job nature. wouldn't a 30-year old sales manager look "more pleasing to the client's eye" carrying a Prada tote, a Gucci coin pouch, an LV namecard case and a Givenchy tissue holder? and wouldn't a Marketing Director feel more empowered with a Montblanc pen clipped on his coat's breast pocket?

W went on to illustrate their differences by explaining how she justifies her decision to buy a poorer-quality $20 bag by dividing the price into cost-per-usage units. "If this $20 bag lasts 40 times of usage, that works out to only $0.50 per use. Isn't it more worth it," she quipped rather adorably.

no doubt about that. I stand by this interesting justification method. in fact, instead of splurging $4000 on a Chanel bag, i can own a hundred $40 bags of different designs and functionalities. that's like, having a new bag to carry every 3 days.

now, it may seem i have a personal grievance against expensive brands. that's not true, i just have a problem with peeps who view the wearing of branded goods as the best way of self-branding.

self-branding is now touted as absolutely necessary in order to standout in a workplace, aside from performing well in your job scope. but self-branding does not mean, layering yourself with brands.

certainly, conventionally and typically, only successful people can afford these highly-prized (and highly-priced) possessions. but most of these successful people are termed successful for a reason. they understand the talents and personality traits they possess and they work hard to make it known in their workplace. in other words, they are valued and recognized for their personal brand and not for the physical brands they carry. just as how marketeers brand their products with emotional adjectives to engage a tad of top-of-mind recall in people's minds, surely your CEO would take better notice of a daring, driven manager than a character-less YSL-draped mannequin?

while i'm still working hard to prove myself in a workplace crowded with pools of talents, a once-in-a-while soul-searching is needed to complement the hardwork i put in. Gucci or no Gucci, making your boss sit up and notice you has got to be far more superior than receiving envious stares due to your latest brand-worthy splurge.

the question of value

It's probably not right, but i want to cackle a little at the recent debate on "Running Fan", the teacher who fled his classroom, leaving his students behind on the day of the 512 earthquake in Sichuan.

Running Fan said, "in the fleeting moment of life and death, i could only consider sacrificing myself for my daughter, I would not care about other people, even if it were my mother..."
and then he was bombarded for not upholding the Chinese values as an educator should, amidst the many heroic stories that got to the media, stories celebrating self-sacrificing quake victims who gave no second thought to saving the helpless children.

Is Running Fan immoral? Or simply being honest? To me, his much defensive comment is unsurprising and not new at all. Certainly there are tons of people out there who would behave exactly the same way and say exactly the same words he did.

What's interesting and worth the debate, is in questioning whether the Chinese value of self-sacrifice still holds strong with the country's people, or with the Chinese race.

I'm reminded of a past friend of mine when i was studying in Canada. One of his weird mantras: 人不为己，天诛地灭。or simply put, every man for himself. He's not an unkind man, but he sticks by his views. Although I said nothing to him then, I couldn't bring myself to agreeing with his perspective. And I wonder if it's because I'm a true Chinese at heart, and he's not. He had almost the same family background and upbringing as I had -- Traditional parents who were devout buddhists, family's not filthy rich but able to live comfortably and send their children to study abroad. So why the difference? Is he born that way or is he just being practical and honest? Or, is he just trying to be different?

There are extremely kind people and there are those who live only for themselves. And then there are those out there like me, who will only know when the time comes for us to prove ourselves and the values we so loudly advocate.

What is so important to the economy nowadays - the practice of Corporate Social Responsibility masked under the desire to better brand a corporate image - places considerable doubt on the real value of goodwill and self-sacrifice.

But while society gets shaped by increasing economic wealth, at least we know that millions of Chinese out there are still fighting to uphold the values they have so strongly believed in since the days of Confucius.

when we learn to save and savour

Lee Siew Hua wrote about being financial-saavy in today's ST Insight:
"Learn to be money-savvy the Big Mama way".

Big Mama - the grandmother who was born poor but who managed to live a life of total financial independence. In the now-context, someone who is self-reliant in his/her own financial matters.

This "self-reliance", i feel, is truly thought-provoking and worth a few moments of some serious pondering. Especially to those of my generation - coined the Y-generation who are probably still much-oblivious to the word "independence".

Who needs independence when you obviously have a tight-knit nuclear family catering to your every need -- from cooking you a meal everyday to paying for your handphone bill, and buying you a car just so you don't have to squeeze with fellow "less-fortunate" train commuters every morning and inhale that toxic concoction of Hugo Boss + perspiration?

Of course, to many peeps independence can mean being able to get to one place or another without having your parents drive you around. But when we finally toss our graduation caps into the air and shout "freedom!!", what's next?

We find a job, get paid a few thousand dollars a month and start to work out our daily, monthly, yearly expenditures. Handphone bills, check. Daily travel expenses, check. Food and entertainment, check. Weekly shopping for clothes and shoes, check. The trip to MOS every Friday, check check check. Savings, ch... oh well maybe next time. We'll see how things go next month.

Siew Hua asked, "Do we know how best to stretch our hard-earned dollars each month or for the next three, five, or 10 years?"

Suddenly a disturbing visual popped up in my head. Amongst a plethora of outstanding bills and credit card payments, I eagerly hammar and crash open my huge-ass piggy bank, only to find a year's savings of impulse-Topshop-purchases.

Scary, no doubt. But the real impact might never come. It would never dawn upon us how we can better manage our hard-earned money so we can have the early-retirement we often dreamed of.

I am as clueless about my finances as thousands of counterparts my age. I was pretty horrified at the sky-high number on my latest credit card bill. And then I felt a wave of nauseau and a sudden urge to run to the nearest lottery booth.

Maybe, if we really really think about it, life is mostly about making priorities. Whether or not decision making stems from being emotional or practical -- we splurge $300 at the salon for that dye-job and perm-job, arguing that when we look good we feel good, and hence we do better and get good prospect or opportunities in society.

That, of course, still holds true. At least I still root for the argument above because it has worked for me. But over the years the mountain of desire to look good and feel good has somewhat diminished to a mole-hill of simply wanting to appear pleasant. Other priorities - such as star performance at work and practical self-branding -- has taken over giddy consumerism habits.

I'm still clueless with financial literacy. I think complete financial independence from your family helps somewhat. Somehow when we're thrown in the desert, most of the time we can find our own waterhole.

And then we learn to save, and savour our own findings.

莫名

终于忙完了吗？

感到前所未有的一种。。。莫名的疲累。

继续努力

佳佳努力的第三天.
有了小小的进展.
感觉, 较踏实.

相信不久后, 将能拥有世界.

继续, 继续地努力吧, 好吗?

My Love Language

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Quality Time
with a secondary love language being
Physical Touch.

Complete set of results

Quality Time:		11
Physical Touch:		7
Acts of Service:		6
Words of Affirmation:		4
Receiving Gifts:		2

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

接下来的人生

我想, 我好象放开了一些些.
虽然还是沉默寡言.
但, 头顶上遍天的乌云好似开始慢慢散开.

感激无尽 -- 很多很多人.
感谢他们在我的身边打转.
为我, 懂我, 劝我, 爱我.

我也该学习爱一爱别人.
如果, 我还爱得不够.

接下来的路, 应该会很坎坷.
但是应该会坎坷地值得.
我会真诚地期待接下来的人生.

成功与幸福,
你们一定要等我.

end of the world

i feel sick. and it's only monday.
every music beat from 987fm rings so loudly in my ears.

deafening.
just like my own heartbeat.

the air in the office is dreary and possibly stale.
and i'm... finding it hard to keep myself alive.
if there were any words to explain for how i feel right now...

... there are no words.

i know it's not, but why do i feel like it's the end of the world?

inner peace

amidst the load of rubbish i dreamt of last night,
i only remember myself going through some intensive swimming training...
... with David Archuleta.

funny huh.
he's a skinny boy in real life and an even skinnier one in my dream.

ugh. i need some inner peace.

喊什么

哭过了，
是不是就可以不当一回事了？

心，还在隐隐作痛。

在没有办法想通的状况下，
我好像败给了身边的人。

开始怀疑这一切的发生是不是因为伤害过他人而得来的报应。
这么一来，正在承受的不都是我应得的吗？

无法停止胡思乱想。
我真的真的不想继续这样下去了。

能用什么办法解决？

真的很心伤。
可是好像没有人可以体谅。
都用着装满自己想法的针，
往我身上拼命地刺。
刺得我无法喊停。

然后他们就会问，
这根本就是小事一宗，你到底在喊什么？

我到底在喊什么。

看来坚强的我,
为什么。。。

太扯太傻

觉得自己挺没用的。
每一次事情发生，
什么都不会说，
就只懂得哭。

还亏自己是 comms 人物。

什么时候才可以有勇气把脑海里所有的想法，
一句一句地说出来？

不懂，自己在害怕些什么。

自己的人生，不是该由自己争取的吗？

拿着小棒槌不断往桌面猛敲。
这好像是我唯一懂得发泄的方法。
可怜地小棒槌给我敲歪了吧。

心情低落的时候，总是有着一些奇怪的想法。
我想到了自己奄奄一息的时候，
事情才总算有个圆满落幕。

这样，太扯，也太傻了吧？

可爱脸蛋

百忙忧郁中,

有小千千的可爱脸蛋陪伴.

感觉, 没那么累了.

远在北京的她, 瘦了一些些.

是好事, 女孩子不该太胖的吧.

呵呵呵.

疯了疯了疯了!

我需要发泄!!!!!!

加油

好忙好忙好忙...
快喘不过气了.

要提醒自己不能停止呼吸.

加油! 加油!

爸妈回来了

:)

for narnians

Prince Caspian was quite a blast.
Entertaining.
And exciting enough for me to hold back my bladder and resist the urge for that much-needed toilet break.

Amidst deciphering the thick inaudible accents of the Telmarine characters, I was mesmerized throughout. But, not as mesmerized as I was with the first flick:
Chronicles of Narnia - the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (which one of my bosses has conveniently named "the animal, the cupboard, and the LKB (try decoding this :P))

Anyway, I read the first book when I was younger. "Stole" it from my cousin's bookshelf.
Back in those days everything just seemed less real and more magical.
I loved Aslan, and often wished I had such a "god" in my life.
And I absolutely hated the White Witch.
And it's so amazing that every fairy tale creature you've read about in Enid Blyton books comes alive all at one enchanting place. Hell, even the trees in Narnia are magical.
Bottomline is, C.S. Lewis is a genius.




Prince Caspian was a little less magical, probably because...
well, the sons of Adam and daughters of Eve are all grown up and oddly, less believable.
(Wait a minute, are grown ups less believable?)

Nonetheless, for those of you who're looking for a less scary version of Lord of the Rings,
Prince Caspian is it. :)